Original: “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” – proverb
Improved: “An apple a day, if thrown accurately, keeps the doctor away.”
New and Improved Quotation for Today
Original: “I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the Earth.” – John F. Kennedy
Improved: “I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon to see if he can make a go of it.”
New and Improved Quotation for Today
Original: “There are many paths to the top of the mountain, but the view is always the same.” – Chinese Proverb
Improved: “There are many paths to the top of the mountain, but the Chinese will always find the cheapest one.”
New and Improved Quotation for Today
Original: “May you live in interesting times.” – Chinese proverb
Improved: “May you live in wonderful, wonderful times.”
New and Improved Quotation for Today
Original: “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” – Woody Allen
Improved: “Eighty percent of the people who show up are a success.”
New and Improved Quotation for Today
Original: “And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.” – John F. Kennedy
Improved: “And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you—ask why it can’t do it more quickly.”
New and Improved Quotation for Today
Original: “Hell is other people.” – Jean-Paul Sartre
Improved: “Hell is Sartre’s friends.”
The Old Yorker 